My Top 10 + 1 Books for Singles

The Bible - I absolutely love God’s Word! It is full of relationship wisdom and so much more! Reading through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and simply observing the life of Jesus is a great place to start in gaining wisdom for the relationships in your life. In addition to the Gospels, the books of Ruth, Proverbs, and Psalms have all been especially meaningful to me in my journey of singleness. All of Scripture is a love letter to us from our Heavenly Father so it is all extremely relevant. My word of encouragement is to simply ask God where to start reading and then live and breath whatever He leads you to read! One of my favorite online Bible resources is Blue Letter Bible as it has multiple versions of scripture (e.g. NIV, NLT, ESV, etc.) and it has powerful study tools if you want to do a more in depth study.

The Supernatural Powerof Forgiveness by Kris Vallotton and Jason Vallotton – I believe knowing how to forgive and receiving forgiveness is key to having healthy relationships. This book tells the incredible story of Jason Vallotton and his journey through his wife’s betrayal in their marriage and an unwanted divorce. The forgiveness and redemption picture painted through this story is well worth the read. In addition, walking through Jason’s journey with him reveals key nuggets of how we too can find and receive grace to face pain, forgive anyone we have been hurt by in our lives, receive healing, and be propelled into our destiny to live as powerful people of love trusting the God who has freed us from our past.

Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend - I can sum up this book in one word: empowering. I found it to be a very helpful tool for dating. It is empowering because it helped me pinpoint some weak areas in my own life and know how better to address those weaknesses. It also gives tools to address weaknesses in the person you are dating in a way that honors/respects God and everyone involved. It really is a must read for anyone longing to have a healthy dating life. And an added bonus: there was an ease to reading it because the authors were great at incorporating real life stories into the points they were addressing. 

Are You Really Ready for Love? 10 Secrets to Finding the One You Want by Dr. David Hawkins – Among many great tools, this book contains a love inventory, a series of questions that helps you understand more about how you relate to the opposite gender and why. It was eye opening for me and helped me uncover idolatry in my heart. I hadn’t been aware of this issue until I had spent some time reflecting and answering the penetrating questions in this book. Honestly, I was devastated when I realized I had put my dream of marriage above God. Upon this realization though, I repented and began a season of asking Jesus to woo my heart and to be the Lover of my soul. It was the best decision I’ve ever made aside from surrendering my life to Jesus in the first place. The tools in this book are thought provoking and essentially a great launching pad for leaving behind old unhealthy patterns and embracing new healthy patterns that allows you to move toward being ready for the love of your life when the time comes.

Moral Revolution: The Naked Truth about Sexual Purity by Kris Vallotton and Jason Vallotton - One of the amazing qualities of Kris Vallotton is his ability to directly address hard topics as a father who cares deeply enough to tell you the truth, even when it is difficult to do so. In this book, Kris and his son, Jason, manage to give everyone the freedom to celebrate virginity as well as restore covenant love. It is a much-needed message in our sex driven culture. Whatever your relational status (married, single, divorced, etc.) it is worth your time in reading because chances are you can utilize the contents of the book to positively impact the lives around you if nothing else.

Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud– This book introduced me to the power of pruning. Cutting off or ending things can be painful. But it is also what enables us to be propelled into abundant growth and move forward toward something better. The description on the book says it all, “When executed well, “necessary endings” allow us to proactively correct the bad and the broken in our lives in order to make room for the personal growth we seek.” If you have a relationship in your life right now that is the least bit toxic, this book can help you navigate through your next best steps.

The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller - This is an excellent read for both those who are single or married! It has a realistic and hopeful approach to marriage with insights that are substantial enough to chew on for quite a while. I particularly liked it because of the Biblical principles that were brought to light as well as the wisdom that was shared from the author who has been married to the love of his life for 36 years. He shares some extraordinary keys to happiness in marriage.

Strengthen Yourself in the Lord by Bill Johnson – For anyone to reach their ultimate destiny in life, it is imperative to learn to minster to themselves. What a perfect time to do so when we’re single!?! This book gives keys to posture our hearts in such a way that releases the power of God in our lives even in the midst of our darkest trials and beyond. The principles shared in this book have certainly played an important role in my life and have proven themselves true many times over.

God is a Matchmaker by Derek Prince with Ruth Prince – I found this book in a Half Price Books store. I had never heard of it but felt like I was supposed to read it. And boy am I glad I did! I admit, the title is a bit cheesy, but I can be cheesy too so it’s all good. Derek’s testimony of how God Divinely orchestrated and brought him, not one wife, but two wives (the first one passed away) is absolutely incredible. Talk about a story of how one man’s willingness to seek the Father’s heart and surrender to how God leads, brings about the ultimate best! The love story alone is worth the read, but Derek and Ruth go above and beyond by providing eight guidelines to follow the path to the marriage you desire as well as how a man and a woman (separately) can prepare for the marriage of their dreams.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhan -Wow! This was an eye opener for me. While I have what I consider a close relationship with my Dad and two brothers, this book was so helpful to me in understanding more about their inner lives and how I as a woman can support and encourage not only them, but my future husband someday. Shaunti Feldhahn also wrote this book's counterpart: For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women. While I haven’t read For Men Only, if it’s anything like For Women Only, it’s well worth the read. The content of For Women Only is based on diligent research on a variety of men from various backgrounds, ages, and relationship status. The results gave me a lot of aha moments. One of my favorite takeaways is to always expect the best of your partner, rather than the worst, in moments that you still don’t understand their behavior. 

Bus Stops & Bicycles: A handbook for Single Ladies by Taryn Rose - I read this book after I had already written my above top 10 list. But I just couldn't leave it off the list after reading it! Therefore, it is my +1! If you are looking for a quick (only 91 pages), refreshing and honest read, this book qualifies! From one single to another, Taryn debunks 10 myths single ladies are tempted to believe. In doing so, she clears the pathway for single ladies to live now and to do so with God's abundant grace as well as a few tips and tricks she's learned along the way.